today is our day...

I remember when I was little, our family was going to Disney Land and my dad and I were going up the escalator at the airport, and I told him that my stomach felt funny. It didn't really hurt, it just felt like there were things flopping around inside, because I was so excited. He told me I had butterflies in my stomach. I laughed and said that they felt more like eagles. Ha! Today I feel like I have pterodactyls in my stomach. Big, like wedding day big.

How does one even begin to describe what if feels to know that in 39 minutes I will be leaving my house and when I return I will be a mom. We will no longer be two of us, we will be a family. Not just the kind of family that a kid less couple with a herd of dogs is on their Christmas cards, but a real family. The nursery is ready and waiting, the car seat is installed and level, my bags are packed - complete with gummy worms for Corey and yet, my head has not wrapped around the whole concept of this Giant Life Change". I can honestly say I am very excited, which for those who know me well, understand that being excited for me over this is big. Emery is wanted, so very much, but being the selfish creature I am, I am also so very scared that I will lose what makes me, well, me.

I can't wait to see who she looks like, and if she has hair. I can't wait to see Corey holding this baby girl he has waited so long for. I can't wait to know that she is healthy. So, with that, I am taking a deep breath, and I am jumping in. I am a good swimmer, and worse case scenario I know how to back float. Ready or not, here she comes.