Day 1 - She Writes.

She writes. Well I do. At least I try. Or have been trying. I kind of like it. I make myself laugh. Is that vain? I think it is, but yet, I keep writing, and laughing so apparently I must not care that much. I started this whole wanna be a writer thing for my business blog Bella Vita Planning, and found well, that I kind of liked it. I entertained someone. Someone thought I was funny. Someone besides my sister, who loves me and always tells me I am funny (even when I think she is just humoring me).

So here I am, writing. Typing actually. This blog venture is to be about finding my way. I want to find my way, which ever way that may be. I want to love my way. Love where it takes me. I have found myself here. At 26. How did I get here. Here is not so bad. I kind of like parts of here. I like, ok Love my husband. Most days. I like my house. My normal, what your supposed to do when you get married, cookie cutter, mom, dad and 2.5 kids house. How did I end up married with a house. I always imagined a normal life. You know, married, kids, job I liked, house, summer vacations to Lake Chelan. You know, normal. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to want normal. Now I am normal and I wonder what not being normal is like.

I never thought I would work a job that I hated. I do. I work a job that people say "wow, what a great place to work, and , how did you get on there". I hate it. I want to think. Everyday. I want to be challenged, and valued and do something different every day. Yet, I go to work. I pay bills because I go to work. I am normal.

Here I am. Living in normal. Wanting to be not normal. I want Cor to quit his job, tell me it's ok to quit mine, and book one way plane tickets to Ireland. I want him to tell me we are going to be vagabonds and bar tend in a dive in Dublin for a while until we want to go somewhere else. If he, my normal, good man, follow the rules husband can jump of the main drag of normal. I will follow. Follow right off the bridge. Like a lemming.

Today I am grateful for: My puppies. They love me everyday, and are always happy to see me.