Millerville

I have been a terrible blogger. While I am not really sure who reads my humble mess of words, I like to imagine that many are waited with baited breath for me to type something entertaining. I wouldn't quite call my life an entertaining one. It could be deemed mediocre at best. However, I am amazed by it every day. I am baffled, I am thrilled, I am humbled and most of all I am blessed. I am truly and blissfully blessed every time these sweet little arms reach up to me (Em learning how to reach for me has taken my heart to a whole new flutter by the way)

photo courtesy of my sweet friend Ashley Scott with Photography by Ashley Mae

For those of you who didn't know, I was a major klutz about five weeks ago and proceeded to break my elbow. While I sat on the ground in the garage and felt sorry for myself thoughts began to flow through my brain like, " seriously, why does this stuff always happen to you/us" and "are you freaking kidding me" and the best yet "now what the heck are you going to do with Emery". I sat there and truly had a pity party.

 I knew it was broken. I could tell. Once you break a bone, you always know what it feels like. I knew I was going to have pick my uncoordinated self up and slink down the hallway to inform my sleeping husband that a midnight trip to the ER was in order. Thankfully my mom was home and she was able to chauffeur her clumsy daughter to the hospital... After a week of casts, slings, sleepless night, gnarly pain, and two separate pain med prescriptions that promptly made me heave my stomach into oblivion I was still having a major pity party. I was angry, and I was so very frustrated. Things have started healing thankfully, and my friends and family once again rallied around me and helped us get through yet another trying time in the Miller house. I am humbled so very much by how many wonderful people we surround ourselves with.

This would be the typical place where if I was a good blogger I would insert a picture of me and my broken wing, but I don't want to scare you all with a photo of my disgusting self. Truly, I was a sight to be seen the third day in. Cast, sling, bile in my hair. Really classy...

The one good thing that came out of breaking my wing (elbow, but wing really does sound waaaay cooler) was that I was had to take some time off to heal, thus getting to spend three weeks with my Wee. She is growing so much that it was almost like this working Mama had to get used to her again, and her to me. She has blown me away with how much she has changed, and all the things she learns so quickly. I never thought that watching a baby learn how to do Patty Cake would thrill me like it does.

She still is working on growing some hair, and her eyes are becoming the most fabulous shade of green. No teeth yet either, but oh well, who needs em'. She is what makes my world go round. I drive by fancier cars every day, and my mind still goes back to paying off the one I have so I can be home with her. I want a bigger house every time something falls out of a packed closet, and once again my mind goes back to living in the one we have, so I can someday stay home at least part time with her.
She gives me a run for my money everyday, but she makes me melt everyday too.

photo courtesy of my sweet friend Ashley Scott with Photography by Ashley Mae

Throwin' it out there

I am one of those people who feels like most things in life need to come with a disclaimer. When I introduce people to my mom, I give one. When I cook dinner for new people, I give one. AND when I make something, and give it as a gift, or gasp... sell it, I give one. Why I do it, I don't know. I usually end up drawing attention to something with the disclaimer that no one would have noticed anyway, and if I had just left my disclaimer off, no one would be none the wiser... Which is why I have hesitated for so long to post anything about my relationship with my new sewing machine.

I have always had a sewing machine... The first one I started using was my mom's, and she got it as a wedding gift... in 1979... I bought my first one 7 years ago (thankfully at Costco) and I muttled my way through it's quirky habits of eating fabric, breaking needles, and having to be sweet talked into threading correctly. This Christmas however, Mama wanted a new sewing machine. One that worked. And didn't eat fabric... I had since returned my previous one, which Costco graciously accepted and refunded, and was using a borrowed one from a friend. Then this puppy arrived.

Disregard the blurry phone picture... and my pajama's, hey man, I was excited.
(there I go with disclaimers again)



It is amazing. It seriously is the best gift I have every talked Corey in to buying. I am no longer afraid to winde bobbins, or heaven forbid, change thread color. And because I am no longer afraid of my sewing machine, I have finally started to make use of the fabric I have been hoarding... So I started sewing, and sewing... and ya, sewing. Since I was no longer afraid, I decided I would be a little bold, and try and sell something I sewed. Low and be hold, I did.  I am not going to get rich off of my sales thus far, but hey a girl can dream. I just am excited knowing someone purchased something of mine, and I don't even know them! I get a little braver everyday. Since I titled my post today, "Throwin' it out there" Here it goes...


$7 for 1 or 2 for $12. All burpee's are made with super soft cotton flannel, and are sewn to a new cloth diaper. They are the best, truly, and not just because I made them, :-)



$7 for 1 or 2 for $12. All burpee's are made with super soft cotton flannel, and are sewn to a new cloth diaper. They are the best, truly, and not just because I made them, :-)

$7 for 1 or 2 for $12. All burpee's are made with super soft cotton flannel, and are sewn to a new cloth diaper. They are the best, truly, and not just because I made them, :-)

$7 for 1 or 2 for $12. All burpee's are made with super soft cotton flannel, and are sewn to a new cloth diaper. They are the best, truly, and not just because I made them, :-)

Ok, Ok, another disclaimer - Sorry for the sideways photo's,  my computer and I are not getting along real well at the moment.

So there it is. My latest venture. I sew better than I photograph, so should you like to see some burpee's in person, feel free to stop by Vintage Bliss in Conway, WA or my house of course. I always have a few hand :-)

I am also working on some pretty awesome car seat blankets. (thanks Pinterest) I gave my first one away. Par for the course, you know. AND... didn't photograph it. Oh well, live and learn.

My kind of perfection

I think of things, witty things to say, or to type. I saw a friends Facebook status the other day and she asked if it was strange that she thinks in movie quotes. Someone posted below that it was ok, because she thinks in Facebook status updates. I think in blog posts.

I have a few blogs that I follow, one that I followed for a few years now and through the years I have gotten to a point where I almost feel like I know her personally. She writes so candidly that you really almost feel like she is talking to you. Many of her posts are just about the walks she took that day with her girls, and how they made a pie when they got home but somehow the posts are always interesting, and you leave them feeling like you glimpsed a tiny part of her fabulous day. I hope I create that. I strive to give that. On to my post.

I sat in a safety training class today, a somewhere between safety goal setting and the kid from transportation trying to explain the safety chair process I went to LaLa Land. You know that place where what you are supposed to be listening to, or watching fades out into the background and your eyes glaze over. I was there. I could almost smell Emery. She smelled like Noodle & Boo lotion. I could feel her sweet skin on the tip of my nose, and I actually wiggled my head as if I was nuzzling her sweet neck. Then the whiteboard came back into focus, and the class was teasing me, as I was in charge of rewarding people with chocolate for their participation and I was so far out in LaLa Land that I had missed someones reward. The minutes ticked by, it was now 4:03pm and the class was supposed to be over at 4:00. I could hardly keep my rear end in the seat, when we were finally dismissed, I seriously almost ran to my car only to be rewarded with traffic the WHOLE way home.  I stumbled my way in the door, to be rewarded with this.

She is blissful. She is my definition of perfection. I crave her weight in my arms. It takes everything I have to pry myself away from her sleeping body every morning. Things like foreclosure of my home or repossession of my car seem not so bad if it meant that I could quit my job, and stay home with her. I pray that she will understand why I leave her warm body alone in my bed and I pray that the gracious family members I leave her with will love her as much as I do.

There is a sleeping cherub curved against my hip as I type, so fair readers I leave you, to go to her. Good Night!

Rally

I chose this title for two reasons. 1. I drove Albert's new car the other day, a Subaru WRX, hence the word Rally, as in Rally Car. Let's just say this car is too fast for it's own good. Like get you in trouble fast. SO fun, but way to fast for a mama, with a lead foot, and a baby in the car.

2. My girls Rally. We had a change in childcare plans unexpectedly, and while I was and still am pretty upset about it. My girls rallied. To the Mama who offered to take my Wee which would mean she would basically have twins for the day, and the Mama who offered to have her husband stay home from work with her kids, so she could come to my house and watch my Wee, the Mamas who offered their Mama's, my Mama, my Mama in Law, my Aunt, my best friend from school, and my Grandmama. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for loving my Wee almost as much as I do. Thank you for loving me. I have truly waited all of my life for friends like this:

and this

and this

and for Mama's like this

and for families like this

Pin a star on your card

I, like many other women that I know have developed a slight (and a say that sarcastically) addiction to Pinterest. I pin recipes that I will probably never make, but like to think I would. Crafts that I probably never do, but like to think I could. Most of all though, I pin outfits, that never seem to look as good on me as they do in the pictures...

Say for example exhibit A:

Super cute, items that most of us (well me at least) have in our closest already. Things that you wouldn't have put together, but now all of a sudden you have a picture of it, and think "Hey, I could do that!" Then you put it on, and well... somehow it just doesn't look as good as it did on your iphone screen...

So you try again

Exhibit B:

Then, I figured it out. The reason the outfit looks so cute, is because there isn't a human wearing it. This is NOT a post to drag up compliments about I look cute, and all of the other flattering comments that are graciously thrown my way from time to time. I still LOVE the outfit ideas, they have renewed  my closet. Seriously, most of the outfits I pin, are outfits I already have most of the pieces too. I someday plan on printing some of them out, just to help me get dressed in the morning! This is just another opportunity to spread some Pinterest Love.

Just please don't be mad at me when all of a sudden look up and you have wasted an hour plus scrolling through pictures and pinning things you will never do.

Friday thought deposit

I say deposit because the word "dump" as in brain dump is on my list of in-utterable words (another post, another day. It's coming I promise, and it will be hilariously funny.)

Ok, here it goes

*I listen to Vegas club music while at work, I know it's odd. What is also odd, and funny I am sure is the fact that I kind of dance in my seat, and in my brain I am in a club watching the go-go dancers and I am trying to copy their moves...

*I am a lover of reviews. I value the opinion of others, and appreciate that they have taken the time to assist me with my buying process. However, book reviews I am not a fan of. I just finished reading The Hunger Games, and Catching Fire. I read them fast. Like crazy fast. In two days fast. I hurried to amazon.com to buy the 3rd book (The Mockingjay) and was halted by the TERRIBLE reviews of this book. Now I am afraid to read it and taint my high opinion of the series...

*My little is 5 months old now... How has this happened??? She has kissed colic goodbye and left it in her dust. Thank God! However I do have a huge piece of my brain and heart that is totally bummed out as she was so tough while I was home with her and now that I am back to work she is soo much fun!!

*I am mourning the loss of solitary time the bath tub... Everytime I run the water at night, and try to sneak in there with a book, Corey appears with a naked baby... She is so fabulously adorable and loves baths so much that I can't turn her away... So like my covers in baby paraphanalia nightstand, my bath has been taken over.

*Pinterest has taken over my life. Seriously.

That is all for now. Cheers!

Dear Emery,

Hello Sweet Girl,

You have discovered  how to reach for things when you want them, and how to hold onto things when you like them. For instance, my hair, my nose, my necklace, Daddy's beard... You also use your little, soft hands to trace the contours of my face. It makes me melt. You lay there so calm and peaceful (which is soooo very unlike you) and run your fingertips over my eyelashes, and my lips. I imagine that you are making memories of what I look like so you will always remember your mama. Just when I thought my heart couldn't get any fuller, you do something amazing. Like when you fall asleep snuggled into me, you reach up and place your hand gently on my cheek, and leave it there. How I love you sweet baby.

Keep calm, and carry on

How do you breathe when the lump in your throat is choking you? How do put your baby to sleep when you have only gotten to see her for three hours? How does your heart continue to beat when the reason it beats isn't with you?

I am not the first, and I know I won't be the last broken hearted mom to return to work. That doesn't mean that it hurts any more, or any less. It just plain hurts. You think it will progressivly get better, but it doesn't. You think you will stop tearing up for no reason other than you just wondered if they were awake yet, but you don't.

How do you put one foot in front of the other?

 or even better....

because my sense of humor has not yet been completely damaged :-)

On the bright side, it is Thursday tomorrow. Which means only two more work days, and Greys.

That is all.

It won't be like this for long"

*disclaimer* this post contains a bit if TMI, but if you know me it's no surprise!

Well, here we are. Sunday. January 8th. My box is packed. It is full of all the things girls fill their desks with. Nail files, hand lotion, pictures from home, snacks AND my breast pump. Yep. I said it. Have no fear fellow co-workers. You will not see me toting pump paraphernalia around, washing them and then leaving them to dry on the counter for all the world to see. A lot of things about me have changed, however, I still find the above sentence bad form. Just sayin'

I have also packed my broken heart, and all of my raw emotions in a box too. In the words of Darius Rucker, "It won't be like this for long" What that means, who knows. Nothing is forever, nothing hurts this bad for ever. "One day I'll look back laughing, at the week we brought her home"
I know there will be tears tomorrow. There may be a lot of tears tomorrow, but I have set out my waterproof mascara.

My little is calling, well actually she is crying. So away I go.

Say a prayer for me. And for Corey... As he has her tomorrow! HA!

Babes in Toyland

I am different. So much different than I thought I would be as mom. Well, as a woman really. I am different. I value new things. I want new things. New things are important to me, and new things all of a sudden are not. My heart beats for a new reason. I say prayers of thanks, rather than prayers for the lottery numbers (ok, I still pray for the lottery numbers). I read a quote the other day on Pinterest that said "Faith in God includes faith in his timing". I am trying to remember that.

The timing in my life right now, requires that on Monday I go back to work. While I may not like it, I am trying to remember to have faith in God's timing. Nothing is forever. While my heart is breaking, I remember to have faith in His timing. While I have a million things to teach my little, others have things to teach her as well. It takes a village to raise a child, and now, it is the village's turn.

I know I usually have much more to say than this, I am usually funnier, more witty, and generally much more entertaining. Well, at least I hope that I am. I just don't have it in me tonight. I have written this post though, for my sisters reading pleasure as she tells me she checks my humble blog daily and is disappointed 29 days out of 30. No disappointment today Caitlin!

Par for the course, I must post a photo or two of my little.