Rally

I chose this title for two reasons. 1. I drove Albert's new car the other day, a Subaru WRX, hence the word Rally, as in Rally Car. Let's just say this car is too fast for it's own good. Like get you in trouble fast. SO fun, but way to fast for a mama, with a lead foot, and a baby in the car.

2. My girls Rally. We had a change in childcare plans unexpectedly, and while I was and still am pretty upset about it. My girls rallied. To the Mama who offered to take my Wee which would mean she would basically have twins for the day, and the Mama who offered to have her husband stay home from work with her kids, so she could come to my house and watch my Wee, the Mamas who offered their Mama's, my Mama, my Mama in Law, my Aunt, my best friend from school, and my Grandmama. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.

Thank you for loving my Wee almost as much as I do. Thank you for loving me. I have truly waited all of my life for friends like this:

and this

and this

and for Mama's like this

and for families like this

Pin a star on your card

I, like many other women that I know have developed a slight (and a say that sarcastically) addiction to Pinterest. I pin recipes that I will probably never make, but like to think I would. Crafts that I probably never do, but like to think I could. Most of all though, I pin outfits, that never seem to look as good on me as they do in the pictures...

Say for example exhibit A:

Super cute, items that most of us (well me at least) have in our closest already. Things that you wouldn't have put together, but now all of a sudden you have a picture of it, and think "Hey, I could do that!" Then you put it on, and well... somehow it just doesn't look as good as it did on your iphone screen...

So you try again

Exhibit B:

Then, I figured it out. The reason the outfit looks so cute, is because there isn't a human wearing it. This is NOT a post to drag up compliments about I look cute, and all of the other flattering comments that are graciously thrown my way from time to time. I still LOVE the outfit ideas, they have renewed  my closet. Seriously, most of the outfits I pin, are outfits I already have most of the pieces too. I someday plan on printing some of them out, just to help me get dressed in the morning! This is just another opportunity to spread some Pinterest Love.

Just please don't be mad at me when all of a sudden look up and you have wasted an hour plus scrolling through pictures and pinning things you will never do.

Friday thought deposit

I say deposit because the word "dump" as in brain dump is on my list of in-utterable words (another post, another day. It's coming I promise, and it will be hilariously funny.)

Ok, here it goes

*I listen to Vegas club music while at work, I know it's odd. What is also odd, and funny I am sure is the fact that I kind of dance in my seat, and in my brain I am in a club watching the go-go dancers and I am trying to copy their moves...

*I am a lover of reviews. I value the opinion of others, and appreciate that they have taken the time to assist me with my buying process. However, book reviews I am not a fan of. I just finished reading The Hunger Games, and Catching Fire. I read them fast. Like crazy fast. In two days fast. I hurried to amazon.com to buy the 3rd book (The Mockingjay) and was halted by the TERRIBLE reviews of this book. Now I am afraid to read it and taint my high opinion of the series...

*My little is 5 months old now... How has this happened??? She has kissed colic goodbye and left it in her dust. Thank God! However I do have a huge piece of my brain and heart that is totally bummed out as she was so tough while I was home with her and now that I am back to work she is soo much fun!!

*I am mourning the loss of solitary time the bath tub... Everytime I run the water at night, and try to sneak in there with a book, Corey appears with a naked baby... She is so fabulously adorable and loves baths so much that I can't turn her away... So like my covers in baby paraphanalia nightstand, my bath has been taken over.

*Pinterest has taken over my life. Seriously.

That is all for now. Cheers!

Dear Emery,

Hello Sweet Girl,

You have discovered  how to reach for things when you want them, and how to hold onto things when you like them. For instance, my hair, my nose, my necklace, Daddy's beard... You also use your little, soft hands to trace the contours of my face. It makes me melt. You lay there so calm and peaceful (which is soooo very unlike you) and run your fingertips over my eyelashes, and my lips. I imagine that you are making memories of what I look like so you will always remember your mama. Just when I thought my heart couldn't get any fuller, you do something amazing. Like when you fall asleep snuggled into me, you reach up and place your hand gently on my cheek, and leave it there. How I love you sweet baby.

Keep calm, and carry on

How do you breathe when the lump in your throat is choking you? How do put your baby to sleep when you have only gotten to see her for three hours? How does your heart continue to beat when the reason it beats isn't with you?

I am not the first, and I know I won't be the last broken hearted mom to return to work. That doesn't mean that it hurts any more, or any less. It just plain hurts. You think it will progressivly get better, but it doesn't. You think you will stop tearing up for no reason other than you just wondered if they were awake yet, but you don't.

How do you put one foot in front of the other?

 or even better....

because my sense of humor has not yet been completely damaged :-)

On the bright side, it is Thursday tomorrow. Which means only two more work days, and Greys.

That is all.

It won't be like this for long"

*disclaimer* this post contains a bit if TMI, but if you know me it's no surprise!

Well, here we are. Sunday. January 8th. My box is packed. It is full of all the things girls fill their desks with. Nail files, hand lotion, pictures from home, snacks AND my breast pump. Yep. I said it. Have no fear fellow co-workers. You will not see me toting pump paraphernalia around, washing them and then leaving them to dry on the counter for all the world to see. A lot of things about me have changed, however, I still find the above sentence bad form. Just sayin'

I have also packed my broken heart, and all of my raw emotions in a box too. In the words of Darius Rucker, "It won't be like this for long" What that means, who knows. Nothing is forever, nothing hurts this bad for ever. "One day I'll look back laughing, at the week we brought her home"
I know there will be tears tomorrow. There may be a lot of tears tomorrow, but I have set out my waterproof mascara.

My little is calling, well actually she is crying. So away I go.

Say a prayer for me. And for Corey... As he has her tomorrow! HA!

Babes in Toyland

I am different. So much different than I thought I would be as mom. Well, as a woman really. I am different. I value new things. I want new things. New things are important to me, and new things all of a sudden are not. My heart beats for a new reason. I say prayers of thanks, rather than prayers for the lottery numbers (ok, I still pray for the lottery numbers). I read a quote the other day on Pinterest that said "Faith in God includes faith in his timing". I am trying to remember that.

The timing in my life right now, requires that on Monday I go back to work. While I may not like it, I am trying to remember to have faith in God's timing. Nothing is forever. While my heart is breaking, I remember to have faith in His timing. While I have a million things to teach my little, others have things to teach her as well. It takes a village to raise a child, and now, it is the village's turn.

I know I usually have much more to say than this, I am usually funnier, more witty, and generally much more entertaining. Well, at least I hope that I am. I just don't have it in me tonight. I have written this post though, for my sisters reading pleasure as she tells me she checks my humble blog daily and is disappointed 29 days out of 30. No disappointment today Caitlin!

Par for the course, I must post a photo or two of my little.